I know Im stronger than before

Now I caught you!!

I have a crush on my neighbor since I was in highschool. I think he's a year older than me. He always looks at me. And I always looks at him. Its like a stealing glances exchanged everyday. Until his family transferred to their province. And he decided to go to college there in his province too. I still remembered when his father joked around that his son (my crush) likes me. And because I'm very shy that time, I just didn't take it personally. Until after a few years he went back again to live near our house but this time its a different story. He already have a girlfriend. When I heard about it I just ignored him and go on with my life. Worked and be happy with my boyfriend. But I know deep in my heart he's still my crush. And whenever we see each other or bump with each other on street, I just ignore him because we have this awkward feeling or let my say I still have a crush on him that's why I'm very shy. And they transferred again in another place.

And this year they just transferred back again near our house but this time he married his girlfriend. But I still couldn't understand him because he still always looking at me and I even caught him looking at me and with a day dreaming face. To think that he has his love of his life. He should be loyal with her. Sometimes when he saw me outside our house, he also goes outside their house to go walk near me. And I always observed that whenever he is with his wife I dont see them laughing or fooling around with each other. I also haven't seen his wife smiling when she is with him. Its just plain normal. And whenever the two are together, he always go out of their house and leave his wife inside their house. Or whenever the two are together its either he is outside their house and his wife is inside the house or his wife is outside the house and he is inside the house. It's weird. right? I know I shouldn't be confused because the fact that he married his wife means he really loves her with all his life. And it means he wants to be with her until they grow old.

Honestly, I'm hurt and jealous sometimes. I just wish I can forget about him so I wont be bothered anymore whenever he's around. But I just don't know where to start. Help me..

Im an Instagrammer

I have been busy uploading many pictures on my Instagram. Im just happy to have a good picture editor and effects. Please follow me on my Instagram. My username is Msie29

My sweet mallowz...what?

Having a boyfriend which is sometimes mysterious and inexpressive of his emotions is very hurting and difficult. I'm having a hard time absorbing his gestures and emotions without him telling me he loves me. He's been my boyfriend for 9yrs already. He's my first boyfriend and I'm his first girlfriend too.

He is a Sagittarius man. He loves freedom. He doesn't want me to be clingy. But what I like about him is his loyalty and thoughtfulness. He is very caring too. I really want to marry him..

Today I went at his house and I was surprised because he hugged me tight and kissed me many times. I know its very natural for couples to kiss and hug but he don't really do this all the time. I started to think that he missed me so much to the point that he hugged me tight that I couldn't breath. And he also looked at me like I was away for how many years... Just staring at me without speaking. Its like our eyes speaks.. I'm very thankful for having him in my life.. I'm still praying that in God's time I can grow old with him.

My birth month..yikes

August is actually my birth month. I was born in August 29... and I'm going 30y/o...Damn it...haha
I know Michael Jackson's birthday is August 29 too... I just hope to receive presents like when I was still young. I'm at the age of settling down..Having kids And having a wonderful of my own. But reality bites. Im just thankful to be in this generation where even famous Hollywood stars who are in their early 30's to early 40's and still doesnt want to settle down. Just enjoying life as it is. And just being happy with their self.

Tired..

I have been very tired working with lots of pending and deadlines to meet. I felt like my eyes are very heavy.. Sleeping late and waking up early. With just a 5 hour sleep. But I motivated myself to go to work earlier than usual with an hour allowance. These vitamins are my savior..

Have a break..

Have a break..Have a KitKat....

Having been busy with lots of overtime...Going home late..I really deserve this kind of Chocolate. It was given to me by my boss. She bought it from Japan.

Few realization

Today, I realized that I should start avoiding my crush in terms of looking at him and noticing his presence whenever he's around. Because sometimes it makes me jealous that he's busy making a family and I (turning 30y/o) still doesn't have a plan on getting married.

I also noticed that I'm making myself busy nowadays. Its like blessing in disguise that I'm back with my old work.

Starbucks Tumbler

I have been collecting Starbucks tumbler since 2009. A kind of tumbler which has a country name in it. I love collecting it because it just shows that the tumbler is specifically available on that country. Recently, my cousin's wife went here in the Philippines. She lives at Las Vegas, so I asked here to buy me a tumbler with Las Vegas name. But the tumbler is not available anymore. But I'm still lucky because the Las Vegas mug is the last piece available at Starbucks. And she bought it. 

Its Sunday

Im still struggling with my itchy throat. Still coughing like my intestines going to come out. Gosh! I hate it. I couldn't sleep. It itches whenever it is midnight. But I got my cure for the itch.

Tomorrow is going to be a stressful day for me. So much pressure and overload stress. Its like I hope I didn't came back. I'm full of regrets. But I need to work for my birthday.

I saw my crush again... And nothing much happened. Hope to have my product reviews when I'm not that busy anymore.

 

My supposed to be "Overtime Saturday"

I was about to go to the office to have my overtime because I have so many things to do with so little time. But I'm still not feeling well. So I decided to take my rest today (Saturday).

I saw my crush outside our house and as usual he's waiting for her wife outside their gate. I don't really understand why he's like that, whenever they're going out. He just waits outside until his wife comes out. It's like he's not that interested. I always observed it. And he waits for half an hour but when his wife came out, its like her appearance is the same. Its plain with no makeup. Its like she's not going anywhere.

It made me miss my mallowz. I couldn't be with him because I'm still not well enough. And Im very much stressed from what happened yesterday at our office. I miss my mallowz smell and his beard.  Gosh! I miss everything about him.

Silent Wednesday

I woke up with totally no voice at all. I couldn't speak a word. And I'm coughing. I guess I have to take a rest and take my leave.

Husky voice tuesday

Baaam!! I wake up with a bad voice. I guess its because my throat hurts.. Still coughing and my throat is itching so badly. I couldn't speak loud. But I have to. Im working and talking with my colleagues. Im struggling. And I'm stressed.

Coughing Monday blues

Saw my crush when I was about to go to the office.But its just a glimpse. Im not really feeling well plus the weather made it worst. I have a very bad sore throat and I have been coughing like my intestine's going to come out.

I'm still motivated to go to the office earlier than my usual time. And I have decided to really come to work early everyday. Maybe because it is stress free while I'm commuting. Less traffic and less worry. My only problem is whenever I go to the office, I'm hungry already.

As I came early to the office, my throat still hurts and I'm coughing badly. I drank plenty of warm water and took my medicine. It helped me a lot as I started my stressful day with lots of deadlines. Though my stress level increased like a rocket, I decided to still be calm. And do my work one at a time.

As I came home early, my throat still hurts and aching badly. I just hope to get better soon.

My lazy day...

Today is supposed to be my "Mallowz Day". Where I spend my whole day with my bf. We call each other "mallowz". And because we couldn't spend time together everyday due to our different office hours, we decided to have Mallowz Day as Saturday. We sometimes watch movies or movie marathon, pig out or food trip ( i can eat two sets of rice)  or anything we like. We also planned to go out of town sometimes. We have been doing this for 9yrs. But if we don't have work or if we are on leave, we always see each other. We are not the typical couple. Sometimes its hard especially when I miss him. But thanks to technology, I just call him or text him everyday. He too calls me or text me many times a day.

But since we spent our whole day together yesterday, we decided to take a rest today. Sleep a lot and get lazy. For monday to friday is another stressful day. We'll just talk on the phone later...

Still hoping..

I think I'm growing old without a sense of direction. No achievements so far. Its like my confidence is slowly depreciating. I'm still praying that one day I may stumble in a rock of opportunity. To feel my purpose as an individual mentally. Because for now I have not given a chance to grow. Its like my rope of success has cut off. I haven't even started walking in the stairs of my goals.

I hope to meet people who'll teach me to become an achiever. To achieve something.

Sunday is Family Day!

Since I was young, I always have this family day and it is Sunday. Sunday is family day. We always go to church with my whole family. Eat out. Go to the mall. Eat lunch together. And I make sure that I don't go out with my friends during Sunday.

So, my mom decided to cook spaghetti us an additional food in our lunch. There's no occasion but being together with my family is the best occasion.

A bullet of prettiness

Its awesome to see a Mac Lipstick Collection. A huge collection that if you sum it up it'll cost really big. I know I only have one Lipglass and one Mac Lipstick. And honestly, I dont even own this picture. I just saw this online. Saved it on my computer and used it as an inspiration to collect also in the future. Though, it is very expensive but its a nice investment to have it for yourself.

Basketball Wives Earrings

I got this earrings from my friend at Canada. It was a basketball wives earrings. At first, I didn't know why they call it basketball wives earrings. But some says it was originated from the Series Basketball Wives. Where the wives always wear this huge hoops earrings. That's why they called it Basketball Wives Earrings.

You can use it with your plain shirt and pants because the earrings really stands out. I love the design of it. Hopefully I can buy many earrings like this one.